Things are not all that great.

At times it seems as though I'm loved, but then I find out "new" things.
Like, they still work together, he still keeps contact with her (late-night text messages).
It's been ruining the intimacy we once had.

Sometimes I feel like just drifting off into eternal rest.

I cant's trust her yet. July is almost over and she hasn't done anything about transfering to a different job site which leads me to believe she's still carrying on.

Trust is an Antiquity

Yup, it's gone out the window!
Why would she carry a sex guide in her car? A ready-to-use douche (when not being on period, despite health hazards) in her purse?
Get so frightened over misplacing her phone? (which I eventually found and noticed she had about 11 missed phone calls she never told me about) Leave very early to work, while not saying goodbye to me? (taking extra muffins, that I bought for her, to work on those early departures)
And the question I can't find answers for . . . why would she (her body) taste like tobacco some days, while others she would not?

So Much Has Happened . . .

Suffice it to say I still don't trust her.

Things Need to Change

Found a picture on the wife's computer that got me sick to my stomach. It shows one of her coworkers lifting up his shirt while a kneeling female is simulating oral sex on him. Well guess who the female appears to be?

I confonted her about it and she denied it through her teeth but I still have my doubts. She claimed it was another coworker yet that woman does not show up in ANY of the other pics that were shot that night. When I showed my youngest daughter the pic, cropped so that only the kneeling female was visible, even she said it looked like "mommy."

We talked more. That's when I found out more stuff she had been doing. She even took a celphone picture of the guy while he posed for her holding a beer can in his crotch. My thoughts were, why would a married woman, and mother of two toddlers, even keep a photo like that as a Picture ID of someone in her phone contacts?

I suppose it's time to think about where I will live the remainder of my life.

Time For a Change

Yep, I should've heeded the warnings and trusted my instincts.

Well it's the last day of 2005 and the wife is at work.

Ha! Initially I thought things would change once she started working. The thought being that we'd be a team of sorts. That hasn't happened.

Oh, but she is part of a team alright, with her buddies from work. (Maybe even more than that with one of them in particular.)

Little Victories . . .

A couple of photographs of mine have been published in a calendar all about MINI/Mini Coopers. (actually, one of my pics shows a Mini Moke, but that still qualifies.)

On a different note however, but along the same vein, not a single one of my photographs I shot on all my trips to Phoenix for the MINI USA dragster ever made it to print in the very magazine I was hoping would carry one- GoMini.

I feel it was all for naught, especially since my 500 mile roundtrips were when we were paying up the butt in gas.

The final issue of the magazine did carry a couple of snapshots of the MINI I had been driving hundreds of miles to photograph. Both were taken by two other people.

Effit!

Wow! It's been a while since I've posted here!

Anyway, I've been pretty busy lately with work and this MINI dragster project. (the latter taking me to the heartbeat of America's Sunbelt- Phoenix) Here at home, Lucy's been putting in so much hours at her job, that we hardly see each other, much less sleep together. Some marriage eh.

It's Moms' Day. Happy to y'all!

Lucy's out at WalMart shopping while the kids are taking a nap. In a while we'll be heading over to Buena Park for a Mother's Day cookout. Mmmm, carne asada!